A completely original concept

Best Job Ever

2009-09-12T17:48:00.001-07:00

Alright, I fail epically. Totally and epically. It’s been almost 6 months since I uploaded a video. It’s been about 3 months since I did a podcast. And I haven’t made out with you in 2 weeks.

Yes, I suck.

But there is an excuse. I’ve been really busy. It’s a shit excuse, granted. But it’s the truth.

If you don’t know by now the reason why I have been absent from the webs in all shapes and forms is that I have been hired for a TV show. You may remember from a while back I uploaded a video about internet censorship. That was basically an audition video for a new Andrew Denton show.

Turns out after months of auditons, emails and phone calls with Zapruder’s Other Films (Andrew’s production company) I got the job. There were however two catches. One. I had to move to Sydney. Two. I couldn’t talk about getting the job.

Fair enough on both counts but that’s basically the reason I haven’t done anything online. My life revolves around this show and because I couldn’t talk about it I didn’t have much else to say.

Anyway let me tell you about the show. It’s called “Hungry Beast” although I can promise you I will call it “The Hungry Beast” on air a lot. It will be airing at the end of this month and my job title on it is reporter/presenter. I can’t really explain what I do on the show but I’m sure the title give you a basic idea.

So now onto bragging about the extremely cool day I had today.

I woke at 8.30 and was on the train into the ABC studios by 9.20. Got to work and as soon as I walked back stage there were a whole bunch of people everywhere. I wondered what they were doing so I looked in studio 22 and found out that today 2 episodes of “Good News Week” were getting filmed.

To keep myself from fangirling I went into Studio 21 and got ready to film. After filming for 2 hours we had completed a bit and it was time for me to get some make up on. I walk into make up and who is getting it done at the same time as me? Miss Claire Hooper.

I didn’t talk to her because I was too shy and scared I might yell out “I THINK SHOULD LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND AND LIVE WITH ME”. I had a quick make up job then rushed out so as to not make a fool of myself.

I started walking down the hall back to the studio and who was to come out behind me but Paul McDermott.

Yep that’s right. The man who doesn’t seem to age and guess who he wanted to talk to? Me. He was very nice and asked what I was working on and seemed very interested in the show (even though he hadn’t heard of it). We chatted for a bit and I have to say he is nothing like how he acts on TV. He seems a bit quite and shy but I imagine a lot of people on TV are quite reserved when the camera is turned off.

I went back to the studio and after filming for a bit it was time for lunch. My director and one of our editors went to subway with me. We brought the food back to the studio and sat down to have Andrew G serenade us.

He was rehearsing a song he needed to sing on the show and suprisingly he was really good. In the end he began singing it at us. He seemed very nice and I'd like to actually talk to him in the future.

After lunch back to filming we went. We continued to film for about 4 more hours and then everything was done. I think the footage will turn out really well and hopefully you'll see it on TV very soon.

After finishing I walked out of the studio and saw the Axis of Awesome rehearsing.

I didn't speak to them at all because they seemed busy and besides they are friends with my cast mate Dan Ilic so I'm sure I'll meet them sooner or later.

And finally just before walking out I literally ran into Frank Woodley.

He walked away very quickly and I didn't have a chance to apologise. But as you can imagine it was an awesome day. Here is one more picture. It is of my one of my directors, Aaron Smith. He's an amazing director and cinematographer.

KTHXBAI!

- Chris

Colonel Montgomery

2009-06-05T00:21:00.000-07:00

I've missed you my little sugar dumplings. But I have been away for a very good reason and that reason is School ... and cocaine. I really do love smack. But thats all in the past now. YAY. I am free for quite some time because I dropped out of university the other day. WOO! NO RESPONSIBILITIES!

So since I've been gone I've been doing a few things. Thing one. I went to meet John Green in Melbourne and he signed my books. It was AWESOME! When he was on stage he randomly spoke about me and he also told everyone to subscribe to me. Then when he signed my book he wrote "From a fan" AHHHHHHH FANGIRL! The in the middle of him signing books a girl asked him to introduce me to her cause she was too shy. He did and she was lovely. HI GEORGIE (I think thats your name. I met a lot of people that day).

I have a podcast coming out soon. But when I say soon I mean this year. Although I wouldn't trust even that statement. We aren't quite certain yet but it looks like the title of it will be called "Chris and Maxie Fight Global Depression Incorporated". It's basically me and my friend Glenn (or Maxie as I call him) talking shit and being racist for 20 minutes. I sure do hate whitey.

I have a tumblr. Go follow it at http://www.chrisleben.tumblr.com there will be a lot of exclusive things coming up there in the next few months. So keep a look out.

I love you.

I hate producing

2009-05-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

At uni there is only one class I hate. This class is producing. I am currently in that class now. It's shame because I don't have a problem with the teacher just the course work. Which is entirely paperwork. For example for todays producing class (which I am currently in as I write this blog) was 18 pages worth of paperwork. It was easy enough just extremely boring. I now know that I don't want to be a producer (granted I never assumed I would want to). I guess the one good thing about this class is that it means I have free time to write a blog which I haven't done since last week.

So here is the past week in point form.

I uploaded 2 new videos to fourguysandmhazz
I failed to upload my final one because I was very drunk for three days
I still can't talk about Project Next but am certain I can soon
I can currently see my friend Brayden drawing a cock
I'll have a video out soon (hopefully if I'm not too tired tonight. However this is unlikely as I'll get home at about 11 and have to leave at 7 tomorrow morning)
Darcy is giving the finger to my laptop
I've been editing what may be my last project for school, ever
I feel over and cut my hand, went to reception to get some band aids, met the 21 year old receptionist and fell in love. I think I will marry her

I think thats about it. I just wanted to say though the latest I will be making a video will be in two weeks when I finish school but I'm sure there will be one before then.

- Chris

Third times a charm

2009-05-13T04:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be going to the ABC studios to watch Spicks and Specks YAY! Hopefully I'll get to talk to Adam Hills. We will talk about how I may also be on ABC and how we have a mutual love for miniature marsh-mellows. Then I'll be a guest on the show YAY!

Last night I uploaded my second naked history video on four guys and mhazz. Here it is.

Four guys and Mhazz naked

2009-05-12T00:41:00.000-07:00

This week I will be taking over the Four Guys and Mhazz channel. The weeks theme is Nudity in history.

Fighting for the right

2009-05-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

This blog comes in four parts.

Part the first. I will soon be having a podcast available on itunes. It is entitled Chris and Maxie Fight Global Depression Incorporated or CAMFGDI for short. It's really unfortunate that it doesn't spell something cool. The podcast will be hosted by myself and my closest friend in the world Glenn (or Maxie as we call him). I was originally going to be doing a podcast with Leuke but we haven't really gotten around to it and I don't think we ever will (sorry Leuke). Also I personally like to be able to be in the same room as someone when recording a podcast. I just think it will give us a better vibe and it will run more smoothly. If things go as plan it should be out within the next two weeks.

Part the second. If all things work out I shall be moving up to Sydney. So far nothing has been confirmed but I am sure to find out any day now. I really hope that I'll be moving up there because if I do it means I'll be filming a TV show with Andrew Denton which would be amazing. I would also be able to see Nikki, Min and Becky whilst I'm up there which is definitely a bonus. Mainly because they are all attractive women and I'm a complete and utter pervert.

Part the third. I promise a new video is coming. I just need to find out the ending of it and the ending can't be decided till I know about the TV show spoken about in part two. Because of the lack of videos I believe I will make one on my secondary channel and one on UniversityDays either tomorrow or monday.

Part the fourth. Jokingly I tweeted this several days ago.

Surprisingly I got a reply with pictures to go with it. I really didn't expect it and obviously I'm not going to show you the pictures but they were pretty good. To the girl that sent them I just wanted to say I wrote that tweet as a joke and thought everyone would take it as such but thank you none the less.

- Chris

Citizen Kane

2009-05-05T22:05:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be left with a computer.

A meeting of the minds.

2009-05-05T04:25:00.000-07:00

I will not let this die, I will not, I will not. Okay go.

Well now that that's out of the way onto business. Creativity?

Yes sir?

How are we going on making our next video?

It's done sir. Ready to be uploaded. We just need that guy to call us about the place and the thing before we can upload it.

What thing is that again?

The TV show thing.

Ah yes. Fair enough. We wouldn't want to jump the gun now would we.

No sir.

Personal life. Why haven't you written a blog since the 24th of April?

Personal reasons sir.

That is not an excuse.

Well to be honest sir we are waiting on confirmation about the guy in the place with the thing.

Shit. Here too?

Yes sir.

Can we upload anything?

Well we did have a humorous skype conversation with Levi.

Okay screencap it. Alright now Health. What's up with you?

Piggy flu.

Holy shit. Really?

No.

Oh.

I've just been telling people that. It's just a simple case of a head cold ... I hope.

Okay get better Health. Now I think thats it. See you all at the next meeting.

The long awaited return

2009-04-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

If the video above confuses you let me explain. About 8 months ago I started a channel called UniversityDays. It starred a character of mine called Dan Hill. Basically the outline of the channel was that Dan had set a webcam up in his room and it would randomly upload 1 minute of footage on to youtube unedited. I tried to keep it up but ultimately I just forgot about doing it. The channel only has about 300 subscribers but they were all pretty vocal that I didn't let it die. So here we are 4 months after the last video on the channel and I've finally made a new one. I have heaps of ideas for videos on the channel but if I actually film them is another issue. So hopefully I can bring the channel back to life like I have this blog.

- Chris

Entourage

2009-04-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

is my favorite show.

It's not because it's an incredibly funny show or the plot is amazing. It's because of the male comradery. It's because their group of friends reminds me of my own. It makes me hope that I can keep the friendships I've made in the future.

What a lame blogpost.

- Chris

A story

2009-04-21T06:10:00.000-07:00

It was far too early for there to be any costumers but never the less there they were. Standing in an unorganized line, waiting. Waiting with a look of disdain that said "My time is more important than yours. I make more than twenty dollars an hour and I am not as ugly as you."

That last part of the look hurt. It hurt real bad but never the less it was truthful. Everyone is more attractive than you when you wear a hair net.

As Chris picked up the shaved smiley meat he thought to himself. What on earth does a twenty seven year old need chicken necks and shaved smiley meat for at six in the morning? Couldn't it just wait till a more reasonable time? Perhaps when he wasn't there?

He of course knew the answer. The answer was no. Surprisingly. Nothing could wait. Everything was important. Everyone was better than you. Except for blind people and midgets. Even someone who works at a deli has a little rep.

As the last customer in the "line" was served Chris began to feel uneasy. The hair on the back of his neck stood up. A distinct smell of cigarettes and coffee reached his nostrils. Quickly turning he was faced with a head of frizz and a face that seen death and enjoyed it.

There are few things in this world that could unnerve Chris but this was one of them. The Deli manager.

As soon as her grizzled lips parted he knew there was trouble.

"WHY AREN'T THE DRAINS CLEAN?" she screeched in a voice only a chain smoker could have "WHY HAVEN'T YOU CLEANED OUT THE DRAINS OF THE ROTTING MEAT! WHAT ARE YOU A FAGGOT? TOO AFRAID TO GET YOUR PRETTY HANDS DIRTY?"

Without even replying Chris walked slowly out the back with his head down and his feet dragging. There was no use fighting her. She would always win. How could she not? There was only one person that could stop her.

The fabled store manger. A store manager who would never lift a finger when it came to the hell hole which was the deli. A store manager who liked to cheat on his wife of thirty years with a grizzled, frizzy haired, chain smoking deli manager.

With his hands and knees on the ground trying to pry open the drains all Chris could think of was that one day he would show them all. He'd do it some way. But how he had no idea.

He could come to work one day with a semi automatic weapon and go from department to department mowing down mangers as they crossed his path.

But that wasn't Chris' style. He hated violence and didn't like his chances of getting away with it.

Chris knew very well that in jail he'd be the bitch. He'd be ten guys bitch. Every night he'd learn the real meaning of jail house rock and that didn't appeal very much.

He could just got to university, study hard, become a doctor, make lots of money, get a wife, kids, be happy and then come back and shove it in their faces.

But again too much effort involved. Chris wanted something short term. Chris wanted to be able to come back in six months time and say I've achieved more in my twenty years on this planet than you have in your fifty something.

Then it struck him. He was funny. People liked him. He was a good liar. Something would pop up. It was about time after all.

Before Chris even knew what was going on he was back at the front of the store. He was face to face with the grizzled beast. Her smell almost drowned him. Ignoring everything in the outside world Chris spoke.

"Every day I come in here I a piece of me dies. I become more and more depressed everyday. It's not because the work is bad. It's not because the work is hard. It's not because I think I'm better than everyone. It's because every time I come in here I'm reminded of the stupidity of the customers always so indecisive and demanding. I'm reminded of the stupidity of the staff always so blind to follow the managers down the wrong path and finally I'm reminded of the stupidity of the managers. The people who think they are better than everyone else. The people who think they are doing such a good job making money even though they have no competition. The people who don't realize that they have a monopoly and are doing the jobs of mindless lazy morons. The people that put too much importance in their job. You people make me depressed."

As Chris left that night he realized that he probably no longer had a job. He realized that he probably wasn't going to prove himself to them within the next six months. He realized that he was now officially broke. But he also realized that he was happy.

Several weeks later Chris was interviewed for a TV show.

Several weeks after that Chris got a call telling him he was in.

Several months later Chris was on national television.

Chris had proven himself.

Chris now showers in gold.

Chris now dates several supermodels at a time.

They currently don't make cars nice enough for Chris to drive.

*Explanation*

Absolutely every part of this story has happened to me or is based on something that has happened to me. Except for me getting the show and everything after that. That is still in the cards but we just need to play the waiting game. Actually I lie. The part about the car is true.

I'm a funky monkey junky

2009-04-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

I'm the pretty prince of parties
You're a tasty piece of pastry
You're so light and flighty flaky
I go where the parties take me

- Chris

Way too tired blog

2009-04-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

I would have written this blog earlier but didn't for reasons of ... well my laziness. So basically the most important thing that happened this week was that I had my interview with Project Next. It was so awesome. Andrew Denton was there and he was one of the coolest people I have ever met. He laughed at my jokes, spoke about my youtube and sexually harassed me (he said he wanted to talk to my nipples and not me). I was freaking out so much before I got into the interview but once I was in there it was really easy and I enjoyed. Now I'm not completely confident with how it went but I do think I have a good chance of actually getting on the show.

I would love to write more about the actual interview but it is a bit of a secret. I wouldn't want someone who hasn't been interviewed yet to have the upper hand. I didn't even tell Rohan about it. That's how much of a secret it is.

Apparently some people think that there is a rivalry between Rohan and I. I'd just like to say that that is in no way true. What we want to happen is that we both get on the show but we aren't going to stop our friendship if one person gets in and the other doesn't. I'm sure if that happens the one who doesn't get in will be jealous but we won't hold a grudge. I mean I was the one that showed Rohan about the show to begin with and I knew that the odds of us both getting in where slim. I think it's amazing that we both got this far as it is. Only 60 people got this far so I'm pretty happy with what I've achieved and I'm sure Rohan is too.

Now I have no idea how to end this blog. I want to keep writing but I'm way too tired to keep going. Night.

- Chris

Gathering

2009-04-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

Are you free this Wednesday? Would you like to meet Leuke (killert00thbrush), Liv (Liiv7), Andrew (AngryAussie) and myself? If you answered yes then be at Federation Square Melbourne at 11am for a mini gathering. We will be meeting in the Atrium at the Cafe. If you want to come early that will be fine as Leuke, Liv and I will all be there early. I'll be leaving before 11 though as I have my interview with the Project Next people. But I will be going back afterwards. So hope to see you there. If not you have officially just broken my heart.

- Chris

The rap of Mitto

2009-04-11T05:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Drake,

This blog is not for you so kindly piss off.

Love Chris

Okay hello there little ones. Let me explain the start of this blog. I have three weakness'. Only three and my friend Drake happens to know all three of them. The first is bullets, the second is my little sister and the third is the worst of all. The third is someone reading my blog out loud to me. I can not stand it and Drake loves to use it against me. He also tells everyone he meets about these weakness' so that they two can use them against me. Luckily for me no one is as big a jerk as Drake and they tend not to do anything with their new found knowledge.

The sad thing is even as I write this I know that it will be read back to me at a later date and yet I continue to write. I can't stop even though it will cause me great pain in the future.

"But Chris," I hear you shout "you don't need to publish this blog."

I wish it were that simple my friend I really do.

In other news today I wrote a rap/poem. It is about Mitto.

Mitto sure is lots of fun
I like to stick it right up his bum
His Mum is majestic thats for sure
With her looks she'll never ever be poor
Mittos rule of thumb
Is that it feels much better in the bum
His name is Mitto and he's here to stay
Surprisingly I don't think that he's gay

It's a work in progress so don't go hating on it.

For my last couple of blogs I've been saying that my Project Next interview is on Tuesday. Turns out I can't read and that it's actually on Wednesday. So YAY! As a result of this Leuke will be with me when I go for the interview. I don't really think it's fair for him to stand around doing nothing for two hours so I'm thinking of throwing a mini gathering in fed square (or somewhere else in Melbourne) whilst I'm at the interview and then after wards going to that. It will probably start around 10 or 11 and will go for a couple of hours. I'll talk to Leuke and organize something then post the details on my secondary channel and this blog. As well as maybe Leukes blog/channel.

- Chris

Best subscriber ever

2009-04-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

I was not going to blog today because today was a boring day with nothing to blog about. But then something blog worthy actually happened. I went to chrisontv89 my fabled secondary channel where a one year younger version of me makes crappy videos with no effort and copyrighted music. What did I see when I went to it I hear you ask? I SAW THIS!

Mummy Mhazz is subscribed to me. Well not exactly me. She's subscribed to an exactly one year younger version of me.

Oh and yeah this comment was posted over a month ago so you might be saying "Way to check your secondary channel Chris" and all I have in reply to that is "FUCK YOU! I'M EXCESSIVELY LAZY! I SHOULD REALLY NOT BE YELLING AT YOU! IT'S RUDE! I'M SORRY!"

- Chris

EDIT - After writing this blog something else blog worthy happened. I got a comment on a video I made over a year ago. The video was about my sisters priest (I don't have a religion) talking about soft core porn during a sermon I happened to be at. I think at one point in the video I talk about not being religious (I'm too lazy to watch it back and I know the quality would make me cringe). So on account of this I received this comment.

Oh those crazy religious folk trying to convert me. How often they try. I just wish they would give up already. The best type of religious person is the one that respects that your ways are different to theirs and that you aren't wrong for believing what you do. For example Shawna, Jake, Rohan and Mitto are all religious but don't try to convert me and respect that I'm different to them. Then there are my parents (who I love very much) who believe that I am broken and need to be fixed. Silly parents.

Swing of things

2009-04-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

Firstly I seem to have gotten back into the swing of blogging.

Secondly I bought some new clothes today.

I think I'm going to wear these clothes to my Project Next interview on Tuesday. Which I am extremely excited for ... as well as extremely nervous.

Thirdly this is my god daughter.

Her name is Mackenzie Grace Johnson and I kinda love her. I think I may go see her tomorrow.

Fourthly I am now on Easter holidays. Which for me only lasts seven days. But that's not a problem because in two weeks I have eighteen days off. YAYS!

Fifthly I haz a hater. He is nasty. Be nasty back.

- Chris

Embarrassing story Tuesday

2009-04-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to the first installment of embarrassing story Tuesday. The time of the week where Chris puts off doing his 22 page homework (of which he has done 5 pages) and tells you an embarrassing story.

Once upon a time Chris went to a birthday party. A 21st birthday party to be exact. At this 21st birthday party he met a very beautiful girl. After several drinks he gained the courage to speak to her. They got a long very well and started to flirt with one another. Chris was incredibly surprised by this as he is one ugly mother fucker. After the two spent several hours together Chris became more and more certain that he was going to get "some". But then (of course there is a "But then". If there wasn't this wouldn't be an embarrassing story. It would just be a story about how Chris hooking up with a hottie. Which would be AWESOME!) Chris was pulled away by his friend and informed that the "hottie" was his cousin (Chris' friend not Chris') and that she was 15. At the same time she had been pulled away and been informed that Chris was 20. What a pickle the two where in. She thought he was 16 and he thought she was 18. Oh that rascal Chris. His life could be a sitcom.

Because Chris had recently set himself a rule of no more girls under the age of 18 he decided to steer clear (oh and it's also very illegal). To take his mind of the unfortunate situation Chris drank copious amounts of alcohol and then proceeded to throw up 4 times, tell his friends Mum that she was "Fucking beautiful" and eventually get carried to bed by the 15 year old girl he had tried to forget. Obviously nothing happened because as soon as Chris' head hit the pillow he was well and truly knocked out.

In the morning Chris woke up without a hang over ... but remembered everything.

The end.

The project of next

2009-04-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

By now you should be well aware that I have gotten an interview with the lovely people at Project Next. But what you do not know is the particulars (unless of course you frequent the blog of one sexy little Queenslander named Rohan. YOUTUBE REPRESENT!). Turns out that the interview is going to be harder than I thought. It goes for 2 hours and I have to bring in ideas for stories that are original and relevant to the two days before the interview. I thought that the interview would be done in a group but from the way it is explained in the email it seems that it's just me for two hours with a group of people from Project Next. Now if you have read Rohans blog you'll know that he doesn't want Andrew Denton to be interviewing him because he'll be star struck. I on the other hand want him to be there. It would be awesome to meet him and if I don't get into the actual show at least I can say I got to meet Andrew Denton (whom I believe to be one of the best interviewers on Australian TV ... granted he doesn't actually do that any more and now spends his time as producer). So I guess in conclusion I can't wait to see what happens and my interview is on the 14th of April at 11.10am so wish me luck.

In other news Leuke will be coming to stay with me the night of my interview. So even if that goes badly I still have the happiest little emo to cheer me up.

- Chris

It's been a pretty good day

2009-04-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

In fact it's been a pretty good couple of days. Only the last two mind you. The ones before that were pretty average. Especially when I crashed my parents car into another car (goodbye eighteen hundred dollars).But now it's all cool. Things have gotten better.

Yesterday Stephen (3sixty5days) was announced as the sexiest Irish celebrity. This was especially exciting for me actually knowing Stephen and having voted for him several times each day since I found out about the competition. After I found out he had one I called him up and we had a lovely conversation about it all. Every time there was a break in the conversation we would both break into fits of hysteria at the fact he (an 18 year old student) won Ireland's sexiest celebrity. That was pretty good in itself but then the next day (today) whilst on my lunch break I got a phone call from a lovely girl called Jess.

Jess was calling me about Project Next, a TV show which I have applied for. Turns out I have made it to the next round which is interviews. I was so excited when she told me but I acted cool on the phone (So cool in fact I may have sounded rude. Sorry about that Jess). I didn't think I was getting a call as my good friend Rohan (robofillet) got his call for the interview 3 days ago. But I did get it so now youtube has two reps. Hopefully one of us can get in (Preferably Rohan. I think he's suited to it more than myself.) but it would be amazing if we both did. We would both have to move to Sydney and probably move in together, which we have already spoken about. It would be amazing.

As well as that great news tomorrow my godchild is getting induced. It's been a real long time coming but tomorrow at some time I should be holding my brand new godchild. I'm so excited. If it's a boy it's middle name will be Christopher after me which is kind of epic. I doubt it will though. I think it will be a girl. Which will be so cool too. Granted I don't know how to act around little girls but I'm sure I'll figure something out :)

Oh and about 20 minutes ago a street sign fell on my head. That wasn't a good thing ... I think I'm seeing things.

-Chris

PS Hayley G Hoover left me this comment several days ago. It made me laugh.

I'd love to Hayely but you are way out of my league.

Featured Much?

2009-03-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

As you may or not be aware, I have recently been featured on the Australian and New Zealand YouTube front pages with my recent video entitled "Educationing with Chris". It was quite a surprise when my brother called me up and told me about it as I didn't particularly like that video. Even though normally I wish they would have featured something like "Hear the Happiness" I'm very glad they went with this video. It's about something important to me (the Australian internet cleanfeed) and it is also my application to Project Next. Which is a TV show to be filmed in Sydney later this year. I'm hoping that this feature will impress the judges enough to give me an interview where I can only hope I impress them even more. I doubt that either of these things will happen but I guess you can only hope.

Along with the extra views and subscriptions you get from being featured you also get a lot of hate. You get called gay a lot and get threatned. Obviously I'm used to it as I've been featured three times before this one but it still sucks. Especially when people keep comparing me to Ryan Shelton. They keep saying that I was just trying to rip him off and copy him instead of be myself. To be honest I had seen his segment Investigationing on Rove but had completely forgotten it until people kept calling me a rip off in the comments. I mean do you really think I'd be stupid enough to rip off a segment on one of Australias biggest shows when auditioning for a new show? Obviously not but now I'm a little worried that just because of the title I used for the video I may get over looked. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to take what comes.

- Chris

Busy Bee

2009-03-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hello there my lovely little followers (all 83 of you). It's been a while and for this I am eternally sorry but as you can probably imagine my life is extremely bust right now. Here is a list of why Chris has been busy:

Started film school
Fires
My friends pregnancy
Writing several TV shows
Getting drunk with new uni friends

So now you can get an idea of why I've been neglecting this blog.

Okay sorry I just lost my train of thought. A rather attractive young female just stoped and smiled at me then kept on walking. I don't think I know her but maybe she knows me. That sounds incredibly up myself but it's been happening more and more lately. I will be just walking around the city and someone will notice me from youtube. It always catches me off guard because it's not like I'm famous. I have 5000+ subs thats true but I doubt even a thousand of those subs would be in Australia let alone Melbourne. It just seems like the odds would be against those people finding me. Apparently it's not though cause at least two students from my school are subscribers and have introduced themselves to me.

Oh by the way if your wondering why a young woman was able to smile at me it is because I'm in the school library catching on the webs of inter during my lunch break. I haven't been home in the past three days and I even missed my current feature on the Australian and New Zealand frontpages. Which I think I'll talk about in a new blog later tonight or tomorrow.

As well as not goinghome in three days I haven't changed my clothes in three days. I feel disgusting but I guess it's been worth it. I mean the day I left home was to help my pregnant friend get to the hospital (the baby still hasn't been born). But the other two days I've just been getting drunk and going to school. So that's really just my own fault.

There are a whole lot more things for me to write about but at the moment I am too hungry and I think I'll go buy myself a piece of pizza. However I will leave you with a new youtuber to check:

Sarabee09

She's a really good vlogger and in her recent video she said she was happy to get to 100 subs. It suprised me that she had so few and I thought I'd give her a little shout out here :)

Okay so of to get some pizza then study film history for 2 hours then home. See you kids later.

-Chris

Nanalew is my spanalew

2009-02-22T03:29:00.000-08:00

I should really write a blog about uni and the fires and the crap going on in my life but instead of doing that I'm going to ask you a favor. I want you to go over to http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/Ncf-oniiuKU and rate my friend Shawna's (Nanalew) video 5 stars. She has entered a competition to win a job in Australia. It's really awesome and would mean that I can actually meet her. If you live in Australia there is a chance that you will too because she will be able to go to gatherings. FTW! Whilst your over there feel free to vote all the other people 1 star because they are yucky and getting in-between mine and Shawnas friendship. What jerk faces.

- Chris

Daily Booth

2009-02-16T05:42:00.000-08:00

Okay so valentines day has been and gone. I was alone as expected but it was cool. I didn't even notice which sure is nice. So even though I have a lot of things to talk about I am far too tired to actually write anything apart from my new favorite thing. It's a new website that has only been up and running for about 4 days now. It's called http://www.dailybooth.com and it's quite awesome. Already a lot of youtubers have signed up to it The basic idea behind it is that you take a photo with your webcam everyday for a year. You should follow me at http://www.dailybooth.com/christopher and see me be naked at least half of the time.

Ok and now it is time for bed. I have school in the morning and still haven't done my homework. I will try to write a proper blog tomorrow.

- Chris

To me this is funny

2009-02-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

Probably not to you though.

A lot

2009-02-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

About ten minutes ago I decided to write a blog. This blog would have many, many topics and be insightful in many many ways (god I know a lot of words). But now that I have sat down I have no idea what to write about which is just brilliant. So I guess I will just type whatever comes into my head. It will be extremely unstructured and incoherent, so I guess just like the rest of my writing. I guess you won't even be able to tell the difference.

I just realized that I will be single for valentines day. This is the second year in a row that I will be single for it. Now whilst I'm not the type of person who particularly likes to receive gifts, I do very much like to give them to the people I love. Having no one to give them to this valentines day makes me somewhat unhappy. Not in a "My life sucks, I'm going to cut myself" sort of a way. But a more "Oh shit I'm all alone ... that sucks" sort of way (again my vocab if freaking huge). Oh well :(

On monday (great segway there) I shall be returning to the hallowed halls of university. Well not so much returning to as this year I am going to a completely different university. As you may know for the last two years I studied acting at the University of Ballarat and this year I will be studying Film and Television Production at RMIT University in Melbourne. I'm really excited but also very scared. I never expected to get into this course as I've never really done any filming apart from in High School (and I'll be the first to admit the work I did back then was far less than par). It turns out the only reason I got in was because of my script writing abilities and my way with words ... you wouldn't be able to tell from this blog that I can actually write in a structured format but apparently I can. It's pretty awesome that I got in as thousands of people went for my course and only 27 were accepted but now I'm freaking out. I mean I will be in a class with about 26 other people who can actually film and edit whilst up till now I've only done it as a hobby and badly at that. Then again I guess the school is there to teach me so hopefully I'll get better.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know my beliefs about ads on youtube and that is that the "star" of the ad does not want their product being advertised on a dodgy video such as a sxephil vid. To stop this they check all the videos that they are going to advertise on and approve each one individually. So I think it's safe to say that Katy Perry has seen my new video and she rather liked it.

She liked it so much infact that she kept putting different ads up thinking that she'd get more hits. What a lovely young lass. I believe that she wishes to sex me. But don't get your hopes up kids. Just because Katy and I have some chemistry it does not mean we will be getting together any time soon. I will still be alone this valentines day ... yay!

I have some more things to talk about but I think this blog has been long enough and confusing enough as well. I'll probably write more tomorrow.

- Chris

Stupid Question.

2009-02-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

WHAT TYPE OF A QUESTION IS THAT?

This blog post comes in 2 parts

2009-02-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

Part 1. POO! Whilst writing this part of my blog I was doing one. Don't worry not in my pants but on a toilet ... that conveniently had no bottom and was placed above my brothers head.

Part 2. ROHAN! My friend Rohan aka robofillet is just damned lovable. He is lovely to talk to and makes extremely wonderful vids on the tubes even if the Adelaide TV guide does disagree (but who really cares what they think. Because as we all know the Adelaide TV guide is only one step above Hitler. Contrary to popular belief Hitler was not just a little scallywag. He was actually much more. Click here for more info). Rohan writes a blog. I do too. This makes us twinseys. Up till recently I knew about this blog and assumed it was pretty good. But being the crap person I am I don't actually read other peoples blogs I just expect them to read mine. So the other day whilst bored I resorted to reading Rohans blog and it is brilliant. He has an amazing way of writing and it is for the most part very funny. You should check it out and follow him because who knows one day he may be on TV with Chris at his side ... Nah that will never happen ... or will it?

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

PS Rohan is even cooler because his name can be shortened to Han just like Han Solo who as we all know is the shit.

HOT HOT HOT

2009-01-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES ROLL UP ROLL UP TO 5AM IT'S TOO HOT TO SLEEP BLOGGING!

I'm not exactly sure how hot it is right now. Although I am fairly certain that if I went outside right now I could probably cook an egg on the ground. It's times like these that I really hate my rich yet cheap parents as they are unwilling to buy air conditioning =(. Below is the forecast for the next 4 days. The only way I'm going to survive them is if we get the minimum everyday (fingers crossed).

Also I think tomorrow I may get a haircut. So say goodbye to that lovable mop I have.

- Chris

Today

2009-01-28T07:25:00.000-08:00

Two days without a blog post. Gosh darn it, I must be slipping.

Substance

2009-01-26T06:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, so today was a big one. I had several major things happen.

I posted a blog.
Had a nice skype call with very sexy people (catrific, cohenism, pilocrates, hexachordal and italktosnakes)
Became a minister.
Went to work.
Realized I may have a crush on a girl
Was informed that I would sign an agreement stopping my free speech.
Came up with a video idea.
Came home.
Had a shower.
Whilst in shower came up with a brilliant idea to get me on TV.

Whilst in a Skype call with some of my friends I kept annoying Stefan and Cat by saying that the two of them where going to get married. I continued this for some time until Stefan asked me to be the minister at the wedding. I of course was overjoyed by such an invite that I literally went straight to google and typed in "online ordination" and clicked on the first link that popped up. 5 minutes later I was an ordained minister of the church of Universal Life.

Now at the time I thought that this was a great laugh but decided to see what I had just gotten myself into. Whilst the laws in Australia about becoming a minister are rather hard and does not allow you to become ordained I can actually have the title of Reverend Christopher Leben legally. I just can't perform weddings or funerals. In America however the laws are somewhat more lax. I have all the rights of a normal minister I just can't circumcise anyone. I have already been asked to be the minister at Adams wedding and have happily accepted.

After such a delightful morning I went to work where I saw a girl. A girl that I have known since the very end of my final year of high school. She is extremely pretty, smart and nice. She also works with me. I barely speak to her because I'm a little girl. After thinking about her for a long while after she had departed I realized that I may just have a crush on this girl. I now have no idea what to do. As I normally have crushes on girls over the interwebs (there is only really one at the moment) who live a very long way away. Do I talk to her? Do I stay away? I am so awkward it is frustrating. Then there are other things that have to be taken into account but are far too personal to write in a blog (genital warts).

After realizing this crush I continued to work and then was informed by one of my many bosses that I would be forced to sign an agreement that would ban me from saying anything negatively about my place of work over the internet. If I do say something bad I will be fired. I haven't signed it yet so I will have my last little bit of hate let out here. I really dislike my work. The customers are terrible, the staff are worse (sometimes I believe that I am the smartest person there (apart from my crush)). So I will have to stop talking about work all together as I will never have anything positive to say about it and as I am much easier to find online than the majority of the people at my work I'm sure I would get found out pretty soon. Goodbye freedom of speech.

Finally I had two really good ideas. One for a video and a second for me to get on TV. Hopefully they both work out.

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

There is only one Australian

2009-01-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

Today is Australia Day. So being the youtube geek I am I decided to check out the top rated Australian videos for the month. I was confronted with the following videos.

Thats just a bit ridiculous. But oh how I would love to be in communitychannels shoes.

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

Edit: For these videos alone she made approx. $7000 US. DAMN!

Billy D is not my son

2009-01-24T18:39:00.000-08:00

From time to time I go to my "friends" myspace pages and see who they are and what they are about. I guess it's a way of getting in touch with my subscribers. Now occasionally I notice something like this on peoples myspace pages.

This isn't the first one and I'm guessing it won't be the last. I know for a fact that Levi see's this type of thing everyday so it's probably not that exciting for him. But for me it is. I've gone to peoples pages and seen my videos on there or quotes from my videos or even writing about me. It's so strange but it gives me such an awesome feeling. It feels like I have made an impression on these people enough for them to think about writing about me on their myspace.

I got a reply to a tweet I left on my twitter the other day from my IRL friend Glenn. I then went to his twitter and noticed these tweets.

They are all quotes from me or concerning me. I was very drunk throughout that entire week and had so much fun. The first one is quite obvious. Neither of us can remember drinking orange juice without vodka. Simple. The second is about me. Sometimes when I'm drunk my alter ego Billy D the Irish-Scotsman comes out and does things. That particular day he tried to do a poo in the middle of a 12ft skate bowl. He ended up failing and urinated instead. The final one is when I bought a coconut. My friend called me an idiot and I threatened him.

I recommend that if you would like to see some more personal/humorous tweets about me then follow my friend Glenn on twitter. We spend a lot of time together and he constantly tweets about my antics. http://www.twitter.com/ozroller

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

Be yourself

2009-01-24T05:30:00.000-08:00

After getting the approval and offer of fondue from Clint the other day I thought it was all going to be straight down hill from there. But apparently it only got better. I received this PM from Miss Mhairi.

I of course replied straight away with "of course" because as we know Scottish midgets are incredibly lethal and I didn't want to lose an arm or something. In reply I got this.

So there you have it this blog has now been approved by Mhazz. Not only that but she has also approved of my personality. If my streak of good fortune continues this way tomorrow Shakespeare will rise from the dead and write the most brilliant play of his career with me as the lead role. So lets hope it does.

That's enough being incoherent today.

- Chris

P.S Me thinks me shall do a lip sync video in honor of Mhazz's lovely comment.

P.P.S I am very lazy so this may not happen.

Clint Eastwood approves

2009-01-22T06:37:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you but I think having a Clint Eastwood ad in my sidebar is pretty epic. I feel that Clint is the type of guy that would check where his films are being advertised. He'd approve them to make sure they are up to par. So me seeing this ad is like Clint Eastwood personally saying to me "Chris I think you are a swell guy. We should probably get together and fondue sometime". Don't worry Clint we will. We will.

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

Gay in a not so gay way

2009-01-21T03:28:00.000-08:00

About ten minutes ago I logged onto my "fan" msn and I saw this.

So I of course had to write this.

I may have taken it a bit too far but it's the truth.

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

Petition for an incoherent future

2009-01-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

Whilst I was surfing the interwebs earlier today I received a link from one killert00thbrush, it looked a little something like this http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/Chrispodcast/signatures.html. When clicked this link takes you to an online petition where 20 people have signed their name in the hope that I will do a podcast with Leuke.

Now Leuke has pushed me into a corner and it would be rude of me to say no to this podcast. But I'd prefer it if a few more people signed the petition just so that we know we well actually have people listening to us. Also if you have any ideas as to what you would like us to talk about in the podcast leave a comment.

Also about 2 hours ago I uploaded my newest video entitled "Hearing The Happiness". So far it seems people are really enjoying it which makes me very happy. I hope you enjoy it too. Hopefully I will be uploading another video next week some time. This one will be one for the record books ladies and gents.

That's enough being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

Swirly black goodness

2009-01-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve the friends I have. I normally quickly overcome this with the help of my good friend Mister Jack Daniels but today I know that I don't deserve the friendship of the incredibly talented Leuke (killert00thbrush on the webs of inter). About 30 minutes ago I had the urge for a new background on my youtube. 5 minutes later I asked Leuke to make one. Now I have one and he didn't ask for anything in return (except my soul, little does he know that I gave that to him a long time ago).

This is the area of the blog that I would put a picture of my new background but my ghetto net can nay handle uploading a tiny picture. So just click this link to see it.

So not only is Leuke very talented in the art of photoshop but he is also a very talented video maker. If you aren't subscribed to him I highly recommend that you go over to his channel http://www.youtube.com/killert00thbrush and subscribe. You will in no way regret it.

That's enough of being incoherent for the day.

- Chris

Incoherent ramblings of a man clawing his way up a cliff

2009-01-18T01:11:00.001-08:00

I was recently punched in my chest by my friend Glenn. It still hurts a rather large amount and I feel Glenn may have caused me internal injury. Good job Glenn I did nay know you had it in you.

After having a blog for a rather long time and doing very few things with it I have challenged myself to take up the mantel of "Man That Properly Uses His Blog". Although deep down inside there is a little man yelling at me "CHRIS, CHRIS YOU FAIL AT LIFE THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING", I am sure I will succeed. I will show that little man that when I put my mind to it I can actually write a blog that is not only incoherent but also irrelevant and sexist. I believe that is where my strengths lie. Being incoherent. Being irrelevant. Hitting women.

If you are paying close attention you will notice that I have deleted all past blog entries as I feel this will inspire me to keep this going. Without the clutter of the old this feels like a new project instead of just a dying one trying to claw it's way back up the cliffside. Lets hope it works.

Happy 19th birthday Shawna I ice cream you.

That's enough of being incoherent for the day.

- Chris